I am not stressing out about getting married. But, as is true to my nature, I am stressing overall.

In hindsight, I should have better prepared myself for what getting married out of state would do to my brain. Thankfully I took off Tuesday and today so I could cover every last detail, but whoa. Lots to remember. I’ve made lists, checked them twice, and I’m really ready to be ready so I can fully enjoy the next few days with Scott.

We haven’t had just a few uninterrupted days to ourselves in I don’t know how long. Man am I looking forward to things like the brewery tour and all of that cheese and knowing I don’t have to be accountable to anyone or any thing for a few days. I bought two new books I’ve been dying to read because it really is possible that I’ll be able to plow through them. Oh the rapture, oh the joy.

I want to thank everyone who has stopped by thus far – and holy smokes there has been a lot of you! – and left messages and emails with good wishes and love. We are both so blessed, and so lucky, and so grateful, to have you all in our lives. We really do take you with us this weekend.

For now, though, I am heading back to my packing. God if I forget anything I will cry.


The non-bachelors’ party

If you read the FAQ, you know that Erin and I were both married before, and we both had all the trappings of The Big Day the last time around. For me, this included The Bachelor Party.

Since high school, I’ve been running with a group of guys that I consider my closest friends. Most of us live in the Chicago area, and we make it a point to get together once a month or so, with e-mails and phone calls in between. Every year, however many of us us that are able get together in Geneva, Wisconsin for a weekend of beer-drinking, steak-grilling, video-game playing, movie-watching and bull-shitting (commonly known as The Geneva Convention).

As all of us began to get married off, we started various traditions. One involved passing along a set of metal cufflinks that resembled six sticks of dynamite, one for each of us. The next guy to get married would have said cufflinks given to him the night before the wedding, with the previous groom delivering a speech full of been-there wisdom. (Except for the time one of us was delivered it mere hours after a dust-up with his wife. That was more like a speech full of worst-case scenarios.)

Another tradition was the escalating nature of our bachelor parties. At first, they were night-long events at one or two places within miles of the wedding Then they involved several locations within the tri-state area over a 24-hour period. By the time we got to my bachelor party, things had gotten to the “three days in Vegas” level. Our parents read this blog, so I’m not going to go into any additional details. But suffice it to say, limits were reached. Limits of tolerance and credit, mostly.

By this point, all of us have been married, some of us have kids, and others of us are working on our second walk down the aisle. When I was discussing my upcoming marriage plans, one of my friends reminded me that the cufflinks tradition was a one-time deal. It wasn’t a punitive move – I’ve had nothing but love and support from my friends and family when it comes to my relationship and soon-to-be marriage to Erin – but just an acknowledgment that this tradition was a one-time thing.

In a way, this makes sense. Nothing prepares you for your first marriage. You have no idea what you’re in for, or how hard it will be. So in a way, the traditions offer you support. The aspects of The Big Day give you a sense of those who have come before you, whether those things are a white dress, 1 Corinthians 13:4, or…a ridiculously out-of-bounds bachelor party.

But after that, you have a bit more wisdom than the first time out. You’re certainly not alone (did I mention how supportive my friends and family have been? Couldn’t have done this without them) and you’re also not walking in blind either. I think that’s why Erin and I haven’t felt as drawn to the trappings of our previous weddings. They were all very tied up in the memories of our first marriages, and the people we were then. We aren’t those people now. So we wanted a wedding that offered us an altogether different experience. For me, that meant no cufflinks, and no bachelor party.

Instead, I got together with the guys this weekend. Rather than a multi-day extravaganza, it was an evening over burgers at a place in the ‘burbs, with several beers (including a 2007 bottle of Samichlaus Bier, billed as “The World’s Most Extraordinary Beer,” which isn’t, but is worth ordering if you ever see it on a menu). We got caught up and recounted the same old stories again, plus a few new ones (I now know a fool-proof way to change a diaper without getting peed on). We talked about the next time we’d be getting together at our group’s annual Christmas party, with wives and kids in tow. As we were wrapping up the night – before midnight! – someone wondered if he should give a speech.

There wasn’t a need. After an evening that reminded me of all the people in my life that stood by me after my first marriage ended, it was clear I had all the knowledge and tradition I needed. – Scott

Obama is yummy

Yesterday my girlfriends Shelane and Candace threw me a Not-A-Shower party to celebrate next week’s nuptials.

I was pretty insistent, what with this being our second marriages and all, plus the fact that we’re both adults, that there not be any traditional showers or bachelorette party. We’re not even registered and we’ve requested no gifts – though some *ahem* stubbornly refuse to listen. Nevertheless, my friends were insistent that I have some sort of celebration and who am I to refuse them?

It was a wonderful afternoon, filled with family and friends, and sangria and laughter and this really awesome Obama ’08 cookie, which was a gift from my sister. I am a really blessed person.

Erin and Scott Get Married: The Soundtrack

As promised yesterday, here’s the soundtrack to our wedding.

Now, this is not the music that’s going to be playing as we get married. Nor is it a group of “our songs.” We don’t really have an “our song,” save for a running joke about “Now That We Found Love” by Heavy D and The Boyz, which I really wanted to put on here, but Erin wouldn’t let me. I don’t know why. I think no matter who you are, you long to hear the words “Rev me up, rev me up/My little buttercup/We can tug sheets, snuggle up and get stuck” whispered sweetly in your ear.

No, this is really the soundtrack to our path to marriage. They’re the songs that make us think of each other, or remind us of times – good and bad – in our relationship. It’s taken a lot of work to get here, and as much as Erin and I approached our relationship seriously from the beginning, I’ll confess that there were times when it looked like it might not happen. Some of these songs reflect that struggle, and, for me, it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge it here. I think Erin feels the same way.

Having said all that, there is plenty of joy here.

As I write this, “Sound Opinions” is on and they’re talking about a recent academic study that looked at different genres of music, the people that listen to them, and how the music they listen to reflects who they are. Erin and I have been expressing who we are through music (mostly other people’s) since we were in junior high, so we couldn’t imagine not doing so during one of the most important times in our lives.

So here we go. The first six songs are Erin’s, the next six are mine.

Side Erin:
1. You Are The Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne
2. Today – Joshua Radin
3. Sorry Signs on Cash Machines – Mason Jennings
4. Somebody Loved – The Weepies
5. Landed – Ben Folds
6. Cigarettes and Coffee – Otis Redding

Side Scott:
7. Face It – The Reputation
8. Take Me Anywhere – Tegan and Sara
9. If I’m On The Late Side – The Faces
10. Learn To Live With What You Are – Ben Folds
11. Hallowween – Matt Pond PA
12. You Got It – Roy Orbison

Below you’ll find a link to the Imeem playlist of our soundtrack. You can use the player on that page to listen to the songs we’ve chosen. (I’d embed it here but, citing “security concerns”, WordPress doesn’t allow embedding anything that uses javascript. Boo.)

For those of you who are technically adept, you’ll also see a link under the playlist to a website that will allow you to download a ZIP file of all 12 of these songs in MP3 format.

Hope you like them.

– Scott

PLAYLIST: Scott and Erin Get Married

DOWNLOAD: Scott and Erin Get Married: The Soundtrack
(Look for the orange Download button)

UPDATE: Crap, so apparently the iMeem thing is only playing 30 second increments now for Erin’s tracks. I think that happens if a bunch of people listen to them. On the plus side, my songs are still playing the full versions. Maybe it’ll reset tomorrow? I’ll check into it and see if I can figure out an auto-play option for those of you who don’t want to download.

UPDATE 2: OK, it’s back to playing the full tracks now.

Thank you, law of averages!

So in a first for either Scott or I, our little wedding blog here actually hit #2 in the “Fastest Growing Blogs” at WordPress.com today, as measured by, well, WordPress.com.

Much like the Amazon rankings, this doesn’t mean a whole lot when you consider the competition and our ready-built audience, but it was a nice thing, just the same. The only blog to beat us to the top was Barack Obama For President 2008 and I’m gonna be honest with you: if any blog is going to beat us, it might as well be the one that’s promoting an Obama win next month.

(Which, in lieu of gifts, cast your vote in honor of us and vote Obama! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!)

It’s been a fun day for us, and we’ve just been blown away by everyone who’s come by the site to visit and say hi. We’d like to clarify that we’re not really “inviting” people to a “virtual wedding.” This blog is as much for us as it is for our friends and loved ones. It’s a way for us to capture the weekend – again, we’re not live-blogging the ceremony, or having a live stream, despite what some friends and loved ones would like! I live my life pretty publicly. At least virtually I do. This isn’t to say I can’t experience something without sharing it on the Internet, but I ask myself, “Why wouldn’t I?” I’m being quite serious when I tell you that the untold joy that blogging and community has brought me over the years makes doing this pretty effortless.

I’ve made very true connections with people as a result of this hobby – it wouldn’t seem right not to have some fun and share some of this with them, with you.

Anyway, so I know some folks might get the wrong idea, and it makes me sorta sad – though thrilled with the work that clearly lies ahead of us – that we still live in a culture that believes these electronic boxes on our desks at home and at work are somehow a hindrance rather than an opportunity. That the connections made via this technology aren’t as organic or authentic as those we make in our “real” lives. I believe in the work that I do each day because I know first-hand that this is a misconception. What we can achieve online, together, as one big ol’ global community, is immeasurable. My almost-husband believes that equally.

Never will you find a household more passionate about the Internet than ours.

So we’re glad you’re here and I hope you know that we have more respect for you than to do this as a stunt. Marriage, after all, is no gimmick. Neither is this.

But it is pretty fun. 🙂

— Erin

EDIT: An earlier version of this post had a link to Glamour’s Smitten blog, which posted about our wedding plans. That post is still floating around in the ether of the Internet but due to some technical difficulties on Glamou’rs site, the live link has changed. It’s here now. – Scott

Music to marry by

Hopefully by day’s end I will have figured out how to set up the official Scott and Erin Get Married Soundtrack.

For those of you who know us personally, the fact that we’ve put together a soundtrack for our wedding should not surprise you in the slightest bit. We live for excuses to make a modern-day mix tape.

We’re working on two things: a player so you can listen to the songs from the comfort of this Web site or, if you are so inclined, downloadable files so you can bring the magic to your iPod. Or something. Trust us, though. The songs we’ve picked out are fantastic.

– Erin

A good place to start

Hi, folks.

If you’re all “Wot’s all this then, guv’nor?” then here are a few links to get you started:

Read the FAQ and The Eloping for a quick rundown of what we’re doing next weekend, and how we’ll be updating this site.

Then for some mushy stuff about us, check out The Happy Couple.

And if you’re like me, you’re already hunting for the RSS feed. It’s at the top of the right-hand column, but can also be found here:

 Oooh! Oooh! An RSS feed!